My third and youngest child will be moving out soon. She graduated a year ago and has been working to save money for her next big adventure in life. I am left facing a unknown future without kids at home and a past filled with memories of laughter, adventures, joys, heartaches, and togetherness.

We’ve all heard that parenting is the hardest and the most rewarding experience. Having achieved empty nester stage, I can wholeheartedly agree. When we become parents, our time is no longer our own. Every decision we make impacts the lives of our kids for better or for worse. Choosing someone else’s wellbeing over my own has made me stronger, more grateful, and more fulfilled than I thought possible.

It was hard when people criticized our parenting decisions and we missed out on some personal opportunities for it. It was hard when my son got really sick and missed two months of school before we figured out a solution. It was hard when one of my children struggled with shame and self harm. It was hard to see them make decisions that hurt them. It was hard when classmates lost their lives for various reasons and we had to help our kids make sense of it. It was hard when my eldest became bitter against me and reconciliation was out of my hands. It was, and still is hard, to let go and trust God to take care of them.

As I look back, I contemplate the successes and failures I experienced. It was such a privilege to hold my babies in my arms, to nurse their wounds, to challenge them to grow, to encourage them in their successes, and to support them through problem solving. What an honor it was to be someone’s hero, and to be the one whose opinions mattered the most. I tried hard not to take that for granted, but to handle it with care. And I still want to be worthy of their respect by walking with integrity and growing my faith in God. By taking risks outside my comfort zone and standing firm in my convictions. And by practicing humility, to include working through any grievances they come to me with, past or present.

Even though they are spreading their wings and living independent lives, the door is always open. We can always be a safe place to land, a friend to confide in, a councilor to share wisdom, someone they can trust. My future may look different without kids at home, but I will always be their mom.